Another Date Completed

Another on-line date completed.  And it's funny, because when I was about to meet him, as I was cleaning up my place just in case things went extremely well, the fears and worries running through my head were "what if he doesn't want me", or "what if he's out of my league".  It never truly occurred to me that he might not be what I was looking for.  And yet that's what's happened the last four of these kinds of dates I've been on.  And it's rarely about looks.  I can find myself physically attracted to many different types.  It's emotional.  Are they positive?  Are they seekers?  Do they still think of the world as a place of possibilities?  Are they interested in art and culture?  And by this I do not mean John Grisham novels or books about the girl who disturbed hornets.  Do they ask me questions?  Draw me in? 

He was sweet, and good looking, intellectual.  And a couple of times I looked at his lips as he was talking, and yes I could imagine myself kissing them.  But there was an air of negativity about him.  He's travelled so much in the world and the things we talked about were not positive.  I thought he would talk about the mountain vistas in Santa Fe, or the amazing shows in Vegas or his exciting experiences in Thailand.  Not so much.  And as I listened to him talk I could picture how our relationship would be.  I would be the optimist to his pessimist.  We would go on a trip, wander the beautiful beaches of Hawaii and he would bitch about the heat, or the other tourists.  And I just couldn't do it. 

So, yes we talked for a couple of hours, and yes it was pleasant.  But no.  There was no "spark of recognition".  We shook hands at the end of it and he said we should do it again, that he would call me.  Which could be fun.  It would be nice to hang out again, but only as friends.    Am I expecting too much from a first date?  Perhaps.  I guess I'm looking for magic.  And I'm willing to wait until I find it.