Putting it together.

I sit before my computer screen on a bright and breezy Sunday afternoon, at my desk, tucked away in my creative corner of the apartment. My face is covered in a slick sheen of black which is slowly crusting and fading to grey. No. You do not get a picture. Because, while everyone else seems perfectly content to post pictures and videos of every minute detail of their daily routine, to me... at least some things are semi-sacred, and putting on a charcoal beauty mask is one of those things, so you are left with your imagination on this one. The mask is part of my steps of productivity today. I am working very hard to get small things done every day, and to avoid as much as possible the trap of insidious computer phone games, the re-runs of classic sitcoms, and the teeming torsos of tumblr that seem hellbent on pulling me from creativity.

I'm working on organizing, purging unneeded items, and on a couple of larger creative projects. The one that has my most focused attention this month, is a Christmas cabaret featuring Cathy Dresden. I'm not certain that I'll be able to mount it in time for this year, but at least I plan to have it completely written and structured by the end of the month of July. This focus is inspired by Camp Nanowrimo, a virtual writer's retreat, which is extremely flexible. So far I've used every day in July to work on the show, and while as of this moment it has been more planning and research than actual writing, I do feel like progress is being made, which pleases me.

It's hard creating a cabaret, as anyone who has ever tried can tell you. Some people think it's just a matter of finding a bunch of songs you like and putting them together. Plugging your individual favorite songs into a formula. But it's more than that. You do need to find songs of course, but they have to be the right songs. Right for your voice, right for your presence and personality. They have to sound good through your instrument and look natural emanating from you from an audience perspective. Either that or they need to be framed in the right way so that the audience will accept your singing something you normally wouldn't be expected to.

And you don't just need ten to fifteen of these songs, you need to find fifty to a hundred of them. Why? Because they all need to work together to create a large piece. A piece that works thematically, with every song supporting that theme, and your expression of it. Not only that, but there needs to be a real reason for you to sing the song. How can you make a particular rendition of a song unique? How can you make it mean something different than it has before while keeping the integrity of its original message? How can you make it your own? Can you???  And keep in mind that you can't have to many of one type of song in an hour long show, or not only will the show seem kind of monotonous, but it won't be taking a journey to anything.

And then, what if there's something to say that you don't have a song for? It's something that absolutely has to be in the show, it's the capper, it sums up the night, and you don't have a song that assists you in doing this? Well then you have to go hunting. Or try and write it yourself (I would not suggest this for most people) or try to do it through patter or a story. There's a lot to think about, and a lot of research and compiling, and testing of the songs before they go into the show. And that's before you even think about where they go in the show, which can cause so many more complications. It's surprising to think about how many "perfect songs" get cut from shows because they fit the show as originally conceived, but once things start coming into shape, the song no longer does what it should.

An example from my own work is the song "As Long As He Needs Me". It's a beautiful number, sits well on Cathy, shows off my high notes, and I love singing it. And yet, it is the kind of show stopping number that you can't place too early in an evening of song, and for my first show, which was in essence about a woman coming into her own power, you can't end on a song about a woman who will love a man no matter how much he hurts her, as long as his being with her is serving a purpose to him. You just can't. And so... it's not in the show.

And this is all on paper! You have to finish the thing up on paper (the dialogue, songs, and running order) and then start working stout in real life with a director and a pianist, until the songs and dialogue and blocking and lighting and sound are as good as their gonna get. And that's its own heap of complications.

Cabaret is never just a collection of songs. It's story telling, through songs, and every aspect of those songs has to fit the story you are telling. How you contextualize it, how you perform it, where it goes in the evening... all of it. And yet, as daunting as that can seem at times, you have to start that journey if you want to try to perform a cabaret show. And if you want it to be good, you have to work to make it 40 percent better than you think, so that you can allow for some falters and nerves and miscommunication from singer to hearer. It's that old "shoot for the moon and land in the stars" philosophy. Of course it gets easier as you continue, and the more times you start a new show, but it's never easy, because you never want to repeat yourself. You are always working to create something new, and find new and better ideas than your last.

Lecture over. I didn't expect to go on so long, but it does explain how the mere planning of a cabaret show on paper can take longer than a month of concentrated work to come to fruition. And even then it will continue to morph and change, way beyond the first performance.

And now I have stop, because I still have this mask on my face and it is calcifying.

Cathy Dresden is a "Midtown Moment"

 Was excited to be a "Midtown Moment" with the incredibly charismatic Carolyn Fox, discussing the upcoming March 24th performance of Cathy Dresden: An Old Fashioned Girl at Pangea in the East Village. Tickets available here https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3339050

I'm Gonna Live...

I'm trying to be pretty selective about which clips I post from the new show, in order to maintain many of the surprises and keep the new numbers fresh for the audience members. However, I don't think it spoils too much to show this clip from the July 12th show at The Metropolitan Room.  It's a personal favorite of mine.

Catching Up

It's admittedly been a long time between blog posts.  I knew this.  I was well aware that I had been neglecting what had been a place for introspection, observation, and some good old fashioned blabbering. I did not realize it had been four months.  And I had been missing it, had been wanting to creep back in, quietly, as if I'd never left.  But as life got busier, this little spot was visited less and less.  And I have to admit, it sometimes feels like I am writing for an audience of two, but with none of the true freedom that comes from a small audience, because if you say the wrong thing, you can bet it will somehow get out there, and what had seemed witty or sharp in the moment of writing, would crystallize into its shameful true form, locked in for whatever eternity the web can hold.

Since I posted last, I have created my cabaret show Cathy Dresden: An Old Fashioned Girl, which debuted at The Metropolitan Room in July, and which I am now in the midst of finding a second date for.  The show was, by all accounts, pretty successful, and the audiences did pack the Metropolitan, which was a welcome relief.

There are so many decisions to make when you are creating something like this, choosing a date, a director, a costume designer or at least someone to assist with alterations, an accompanist, coming up with a concept, choosing the songs, structuring the evening, writing transitional material/patter and monologues as well as comedic bits and jokes. And so much more. I have always had a bit of a hard time making decisions, tending to agonize over each one before finally pushing the metaphorical "go" button, and now, here I am doing it again. Luckily, the first time, everything came together, as it always seems to.  I had an immense amount of support, a terrific producer in Joseph Macchia, an amazing director, Daniel Adams, and an indispensable accompanist/banterer/singer/accordian player in the form of Michael Hicks.

(L-R) Michael Hicks, Cathy, Daniel Adams

I will admit, I worked like a dog on the show for over three months. Every night after work I came home and sat in front of my computer.  But for the first time I understood what people said when they write that if you love what you are doing, it doesn't feel like work.  Te passion seemed to override all the critical voices for just long enough to get the job done.  And then once I (through the combination of fate and of listening to my "gut") chose the right director, he aided in keeping those persistent demons at bay so that we could do the work together, aided by Michael.  I cannot overstate the importance, if you ever decide to go on this journey, of choosing the right companions.  Without them, I don't know if I could have done it.

And now, not wanting to lose the momentum, and let Cathy go back into the trunk, I'm bringing her back.  So, if you were one of those unable to make it to the first show, stay tuned...

Michael and Cathy, July 12th at The Metropolitan Room

Top Ten Divas, #8

8. Liza Minnelli

Like many people, I discovered Liza through the movie "Cabaret".  I think I was thirteen, and my exposure to homosexuality was slight.  I knew it was bohemian and slightly sinful, but it was a foreign land to me still, one I didn't want to visit.  And then I saw Liza in this movie, watched the scenes with Sally and Brian and Maximilian rambling the streets and laughing, and even I knew something was going on between them that wasn't being said outright.  And when they get to that scene in the car when Brian, tired of the complexities of this triumvirate says "Screw Maximilian", Sally responds "I do" and he finishes the conversation with "so do I"...an alarm went off.  Just a faint ping, but it was there.

But mostly, I remember Liza.  Her recklessness, her languid sexuality,  her cockeyed optimism...  It's that abandon, that need to give full out and make all of it (even the sad parts) sparkle with the light of a thousand sequins in your eyes, that encapsulates Liza Minnelli for me.  There's no shame in her.  She'll shimmy, kick, flail, open that mouth wide and let it all out in the name of giving a good show.  It doesn't have to be pretty, it just has to be full out committed, and it always is  The clip above captures perfectly her gift for building a scene through song and her for taking the audience on a journey so we'll believe everything she does even when it strays into the territory of "over the top".  She's the poster child for dreaming big, and I always listen to her when I want to perk up my spirits or hear that voice in my ear saying "Yes, you can."