Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Top Divas, #6... and why gays REALLY love our divas

6.  Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy is framed for the theft of a jewel and languishes in jail in Jim Henson's 'The Great Muppet Caper'.   (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

She's fierce, determined, extremely confident, a fighter, she is all the grande dames of the theatre bundled up in to one compact little package.  And like any great star, she started out as a minor character and rose to the ranks of cult icon.  She pays tribute to all the great female archetypes at the same time lampooning them.  She proclaims herself to be the greatest star all the while, she grimly acknowledges her physical inadequacies.  She leaps into every great female role ever created, be it Scarlett in "Gone With the Wind", Cleopatra, or Joan of Arc.  She begs, demands, struts, coyly flirts and climbs to the top, over countless bodies, if she must.  But she's not all toughness.  She has a very tender and a surprisingly vulnerable side.  She is the cliche of the soul who's great bravado masks her deep insecurities, which one can only expect from the underdog that she is.  I mean, who would expect a pig from her humble beginnings to win the love of her life, great fame, and personal contentment?  She wills it so, with brutality, humor, and panache.

I was one of many young boys who saw her and instantly fell in awe.  People wonder why we love those great women like Judy, Bette, Barbra, Liza.  I think it's because we appreciate their immense talent and admire the way they reached those heights without the benefits of great physical beauty.  What they had went deeper, but just was just as worthy, more worthy, than the obvious beauty.  Not that these women weren't physically beautiful, but it sometimes took a closer look to see.  And once seen, complemented by those inner gifts, everyone who sees it realizes this is the real thing, more deserving of appreciation than the cookie cutter mold.

As a soft, more artistic, "sensitive" boys growing up in the world we, most of us, realize we will never be the kind of man our fathers want us to be.  We don't fit the accepted mold. We have talents, but not the kind that is considered fit for men.  We have flair, creativity, sensitivity, open emotions.  But what can we do with those gifts that are often seen as liabilities by those who's approval we want to win?  And then we see these women in similar circumstances.  Women who didn't fit the mold that men expected them to.  They had obstacles to overcome, but overcame them because they had something more than that beauty.  A gift that a lot of  men would love to deny because they couldn't mash it down or denigrate it as a commodity for their personal use like they could with physical beauty.  They were feminists all, the great divas.  They make it well known that they are as good as any man, by proclaiming, not that their gifts are the same as the patriarch, but uniquely theirs and equal to any man's.  And as a kid growing up who related to their gifts more than those of the straight man, I took faith in their fight to be heard.  They seemed to be saying to me that their successes and rewards could be mine if I only had faith in my own unique strengths.  Strengths that I might be the only one to see for the time being. 

We don't relate to Garland because her life was rough and our lives are rough.  That story is just another way to keep us down.  The idea that we related to her weaknesses and love to exalt in them, to wallow in them.  No.  We relate to her because she is overcame great odds to rise to great heights.  There was something deep inside her that she didn't always believe in, but that was apparent to everyone who met her.  It dragged you toward her.  And I'm not talking about her voice, but her strength of spirit, her absolute willingness to expose her open veins and emote authentically about her full experience of life.  She sang about things people don't always want to hear about.  It's that power of self expression as well as the immense instrument that allowed it that make us love her.  Her fall from grace only reminds us that such self expression and naked sincerity can come with great cost and if you truly want to follow the diva's path you may have to pay a heavy price.  However, that price may very well be one you are willing to pay for the reward of artistic and personal fulfillment.

And isn't it ironic that such an icon as Miss Piggy stemmed from the minds of men.  Starting out as kind of a joke on women, she evolved into a fully realized, three dimensional character in spite of what they saw her as initially, she had her own ideas.  The art that was the character proclaimed to her makers that she was something more, as much as the character itself proclaimed this to her fellow muppets.   And soon the artists were under the control of their art as much as she was under theirs.   Now that's a diva.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Wedding Bells

I ate my feelings today.  Let's just be honest.  We all know when we're doing it, and I did it in spades.  And didn't spend a cent.  The office was loaded up with treats today flowing in from all directions.  It was also loaded with the stress of ringing phones and employees needing assistance, asking for special requests, etc. 

To explain, I am the operations/communications admin for a corporate office of about 170 employees.  I work at the front desk, greet visitors, answer the phone, handle incoming deliveries, make announcements, order supplies, process employee paperwork, handle office equipment, the security system, blah-blah-blah.  Most of the time enjoy it because I get to use my personality, cheer people up throughout the day, provide a zany but professional spirit and give good customer service.  But on the occasional day like today???  There were several times I wanted to grab my rhinestone handled letter opener (which makes me feel like Joan Crawford every time I use it) and gouge my eyes out like Oedipus.  Instead, I ate.  The ironic thing is that I've been worried about gaining weight lately, and those concerns coupled with seeing myself in a couple of unflattering photos and being unhappy with my mid-section only made it more difficult to refrain from eating.  I piled my plate high and somewhere in the back of my head I thought "who knows when this will come again?  Grab it while you may!!!!"

Of course, it's not the end of the world.  I skipped dinner tonight and will just go back to eating like normal again tomorrow, waiting until I'm hungry.  I can do it.  I can.  And the few pounds I've gained in the past week will melt off. No worries.  In fact they could just be the daily fluctuation of 3 lbs that they say occurs.  I can't pay any attention to the feeling that my thighs have grown two inches, it will only compel me to give in and say "Awww, what the fuck.  If I'm gonna have tree trunks for legs, let's live it the shit up!"  No.  Instead, remember how you lost the 30 pounds you've lost, how hard it was to get here, enjoy the results and keep up the good work. 

One of the events that helped to pack on a pound or two was a wedding I went to on Saturday at the Saint Mary's cathedral.  It's unarguably the most impressive church in town, nestled in the heart of downtown Austin.  Stepping in it immediately made me feel like a kid again, being with my Irish Catholic Grandmother, standing by her side as she lit a candle in remembrance.  There's something about the majesty and grandeur about Catholicism that makes the whole world seem just a little more sacred.  And when you step out into the world again, you take just a piece of that majesty with you.  So in spite of not being a practicing Catholic anymore, having found a church most folks would call New Age, I still love feeling like a Catholic again and will never pass up the opportunity to go to Midnight Mass.




Anyway, the service, and the bride were lovely.  She looked like a Princess out of a Disney film. 
Really.  I'm not just saying that, because she's not likely to see this.  And anyone who's first dance starts with "You're the One That I want" from Grease?  Come on.  I have to say, everything about this wedding was pretty extravagant.  The reception was held at the Driskoll, a very chi-chi hotel in Austin, it was stunningly decorated, everything was impeccable.  Her little girl dream come true.  And of course, being at a wedding, you can't help thinking about your own, even a little...even if it's not legal in most states...
                                                         

Me, I'd want something pretty informal, with a reception at a Barbecue Joint, seventy-five close friends and family, and a swing band.  I know barbecue and swing don't necessarily go together, but we'd make em fit.  Oh yeah, and the grooms cake...would have to be an armadillo cake, grey frosting on the outside and red velvet on the inside.  Tacky, maybe, but to my mind, delightful.  Of course, you've gotta get a man first...

Cursive

  Last week I returned to doing my  morning pages , a practice I was committed to for years, and then abandoned, at least partially in the d...