Happy 130th Birthday, Irving Berlin!

For a man who's songs have become synonymous with the celebration of some of our biggest holidays, those songs being God Bless America, Easter Parade and God Bless America, respectively, how do you pay homage to him on his personal holiday, the 130th anniversary of his birthday? These two clips are a great start, as they highlight two very different sides of his artistic sensibilities, both written relatively early in his career.

First up is a Garland performance of What'll I Do (1924) from one of the "Trunk Spots" of her television show, filmed in 1963. This is one of my favorites from the series for its simplicity, and its authenticity. The song was inspired Berlin's anguish at the death of his mother, with whom he was incredibly close and who's loss would also inspire All Alone (1924).

Next is a really terrific performance of You'd Be Surprised (1919), from Madeline Kahn performed live at his 100th birthday celebration back in 1988. Kahn maintains the song's intended style and perfectly illustrates how witty and risqué he could be.

For those of you who need a further fix, there is an incredibly long list of great songs and musical cast albums to plum, including songs like Cheek to Cheek, There's No Business Like Show Business, and his first gigantic hit Alexander's Ragtime Band, but these are my personal favorites, as sung by two of my personal favorites.

Media Deprivation: The Results

So as of Sunday, I was back to watching television. Had I missed it? Of course I had. I had missed the chaste, yet brooding masculinity of vicar Sidney Chambers on Masterpiece Mystery's Grantchester. The efforts of one fair haired and well muscled young vicar to be a leader in his small English village of 1953? His drive to stand up for true justice, while at the same time losing himself in whiskey and cigarettes, pining away for a woman he can never have?  It scratches an itch I wasn't aware I needed relief from! And yet, while I put away these things that I was using to fill time, I achieved quite a lot.

I did two blog posts. I organized my closet. I attended a tour of historic locations of now closed gay bars. I went to an open-mic night and tried out new material for my upcoming show. I switched phone services (which I had threatened doing for a long time). I applied for countless jobs. I put a dent in David Allen's Getting Things Done, which when complete, will allow me to implement a system to capture all of the tasks I need and want to do in order to complete them when time allows. I met someone new for drinks. I assisted my friend in her cabaret performance. I opened the windows one evening and drank a beer while playing cards with my roommate.

Were some of these things I would have done anyway? Sure. But a couple of them would have been much easier to say "no" to at the last minute if I had known that hanging out and watching television were an option. So, while I don't know that I want to completely get rid of television,  I am planning on alternating weeks in which I turn off the t.v. and find other ways to fill time.

Creating A Vacuum: A Week of Reading/Media Deprivation

Julia Cameron was the preeminent guru of creativity in the late nineties and early 2000s. Her book "The Artist's Way" held a promise that anyone could be creative, whether or not they had any held aspirations toward the concept of "art" as the current society had come to understand it. It broke down barriers, and allowed masses of people to find a way toward creativity, whether it was finding art in cooking, gardening, journaling, or in the more traditional forms of painting, acting, and writing for a wider audience than the self.

I have both taken the 12 week journey, which is very purposefully aligned with the structure of the AA program (in that it also is a twelve week program relying on accountability, faith, and easily trackable "steps") and taught it. And while the program traded a lot of its integrity in order to remain relevant and profitable through the creation of unnecessary merchandise and sequels, at the heart of it is a truly wonderful idea at work, with truly useful tools.

Now many of you may be aware that I recently found myself without the steady work that I had counted on for the past two years to sustain me in this city. This was both unsettling, and honestly, refreshing. It is allowing myself to rethink what I want, what I came to New York to seek, and to explore other possibilities to sustain myself financially that do not make me feel as if I am sacrificing the very thing I came out here to do. And yet? With all the time I suddenly and on my hands, I noticed it slipping away. It seemed that I was not much further in my pursuits than I had been. I'm sure you can all relate. With so many projects (find a day-job, find acting representation, build my visibility on-line, build Cathy's audience and opportunities for her to reach them, continue developing her material- character-message and world, write essays that might find an online audience, write the novel that's been percolating in my head for the past year, create a voice-over demo, take steps to get closer to feeling financially grounded for my future) it can feel like one step toward any of these projects doesn't really get you far in the long run. Commit to just one? Great! But how focused is that "one thing"? Is it my art? Is it Cathy Dresden? Is it writing? And if I pick one to the exclusion of others... I mean, I have worked too hard this past year and half to just let Cathy go. And everyone knows that success demands persistence. And while I understand that feeling that I have promise in many avenues is a terrific plus, it also leaves me somewhat unmoored and stymied.

So I'm taking steps. Baby steps. On Sunday, having noticed my lack of time to create, I took a hard look at myself and realized that I was spending way too much time in front of the television. The unsettling feelings I mentioned made it very tempting to escape into other world's with charismatic heroes and heroines. By watching them face their problems I was able to feel a sense of accomplishment without any of the inner turmoil of faces my much smaller hills. Add to that, the seemingly innocuous pleasures of matching up little digital icons of cherished Disney characters to receive the pleasures of points accrued and "treasures" won, and I had a pretty good idea of where much of that time was being spent. So step one? I took a page out of Julia Cameron's book (you were probably wondering how it tied in) and committed to a week of "Media Deprivation".  What exactly is "Media Deprivation" you ask? For those who would like to try this on their own, I will tell you.

Media Deprivation, which was originally titled "Reading Deprivation" is intended to be a time to free yourself from some of the many voices in your head that keep you from finding your own. The things you eliminate? Any kind of reading. Any television. Eliminate time on social media. ALL OF IT. You have to read for your job? Find ways not to. Or find ways to eliminate as much as you can, because once you have silenced everyone else's messaging which unbeknownst to you has constantly been thrumming in the corners of your mind, it creates room in your mind to be filled with your own ideas, your own messages, and it allows time in your day to put them out there, or to achieve all of the other life improving tasks that have always been pushed off to another time. And while you are spending your evening emptying the closet of old clothes you haven't looked at since 2012? Without words rattling in the background, you will likely find yourself paying attention to the feelings evoked by the process of letting go, rather than idly listening to someone yammer on about the current social gaffe that the news media is spinning in a communal tizzy over. Much better to take some time and focus on steps to improve your current situation, or even more fully enjoy it by being present in it. Now this is scary shit. Understood. There is a reason we find things to fill our time. This kind of confrontation can be an uncomfortable process, but it's end goal is relief. And the more you find yourself sticking to the process, the more you are likely to get out of it.

All of that said, there are some optional releases from the vacuum. Cameron allows for the possibility of going to the movies to see a revival of an old gem, and yet, if you habitually use movie going as a way to unplug? I would be conscious of that and act accordingly.  Can you listen to music? Yes. But if you really want the full experience, I suggest you don't. Yes, if you usually have the radio on during your commute, or listen to audio books, this leaves you with a seemingly endless amount of time with yourself. What will you do instead? Pray, possibly. Call an old friend. Center yourself and set your intention for the day. Observe the world around you. These are things that so many of us would love to do, but forget to do because we never feel like we have the time. Well here it is. Like a gift.

Me? I'm not doing this as part of the greater program, and have used this tool a few times before, so I am doing a variation. No television, and no video games. I will still read. I will still listen to radio shows and podcasts, and I will still occasionally wander into social media land, as a lot what I am wanting to do in the vacuum requires working online and engaging with the virtual community. Does that mean I will have to be extra vigilant? Yes. It also means I will have a little less time to fill, so I'll have to be very aware of ho I use the time online to ensure I am not randomly wandering to sites in order to avoid tasks I have set for myself. And my results may be a little less revelational than those being really hardcore. And yet, Julia Cameron also speaks about how important it is to do this in any form, and if sticking to the letter of the process as originally intended means you won't even attempt it? Do it in a way that you can.

So far I have done a lot of job searching, a blog post (which you are currently reading) and begun ruminating about a possible creative project for the future. Hopefully by the end of Saturday I will have many more achievements to report.

If you'd like to join me? Have questions? Concerns? Have done this in the past and disagree with things I have said? Please feel free to comment below, and I'll respond. I'd love to hear from you.