"Coming Soon"

While I used to look forward to birthdays for all the material bounty that would shower down on me and make me feel worthy (and I admit that a Wonder Woman flash drive can still bring me to the heights of giddiness) lately I've come to look forward to them for a different reason, namely, the change they inevitably bring. 

It could be that I'm getting older and nature is whispering ever more urgently into my ear that time is growing short and I'd better make days count, but each birthday these past few years has brought about a major life change.  It was right around my birthday that I decided to quit my job at Keller Williams, that I decided to move back home to Austin, Texas after six years in LA, that I let go of a friendship or two, decided to really grab onto a dream, like writing a performance piece...  Birthdays mean change.

I can never quite be certain what that change will be, but I can already feel the restlessness building.  I can hear the questions, the wondering.  Of course, like many people do when the questions start to pop up ("What the hell am I doing with my life?"  "Did I waste to much time pursuing an artistic career?"  "Should I get out of that halfway world that I seem to be living in and fall one way or the other?" "When am I going to feel settled?"  "Am I already 'settled' and I just haven't realized it?"  times seem uncertain) I've started praying again, looking for signs.  Good old God, the parachute we go back to when we need him.  I've always been great at beginnings.  Always been great at leaping into something and giving 100%, but staying the course?  This I have yet to master...

Regardless, and please forgive the cringe worthy analogy, change is a brewing, and when that lil' cup of Life Coffee is ready, I'll let you know what it tastes like.